Saturday, July 30, 2005

REPORT: The Wedding

Well, aside from the facts that...
  1. The pianist was drunk
  2. And there were 5 bridesmaids
  3. And a maid of honour
  4. And a flowergirl
  5. And the pianist was drunk
  6. And the bridesmaids smirked through the entire ceremony
  7. And the pianist was drunk
  8. And nobody in the wedding party took the wedding seriously
  9. And the pianist was drunk

...the wedding was okay. Contrary to what the program read, "Cannon in D" was not played, nor was "Canon in D;" the bride instead processed down the aisle to repeated strains of the opening measures of "The Surprise Symphony," as picked out on the piano by a high school music teacher who has seen better (READ: LESS INEBRIATED) days. The bride couldn't keep from laughing as she swore to submit to her husband; the bridesmaids snickered through the entire wedding, and it was as though they were shooting a film and we were all extras.

I've known the bride since we were 6, and most of the bridesmaids for years, and a part of me felt funny at the fact that they were asked to stand there and I wasn't (that one? that bridesmaid? yeah, she and the bride quit talking years ago. They had lived together and then one moved out in a fit because they couldn't stand each other). And part of me felt funny that I was invited to be a part of this day when I hadn't been invited to be any part of her life whatsoever for the past 7 years. And then when the jealousy reared its ugly little head, I quashed it (horribly enough) by telling myself that THAT bridesmaid, that one with the fake Jamaican tan and fried hair, the one who wrecked a few friendships and was the self-proclaimed goddess of the group, yeah, she has the tan now, but man, when she's 60 years old and a wrinkled mess, my skin will still be smooth. Pasty white and emitting a radioactive glow, but wrinkle-free.

And it all makes me very sad.

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