I have had it up to HERE with Stress! Dad always tells me, so calmly, "Just don't let yourself get stressed." Right. That doesn't work with me. I try, but I still end up panicking. There are times when I can't see ever getting past the thing that's stressing me out. I'm amazed that it's Thursday afternoon right now, that Saturday is the day after tomorrow; there were times this week when I doubted I'd get to Saturday, because the Stress is just so BIG and DEMANDING and IN MY FACE.
Wednesday, I had to give a speech in communications, and take a fitness test in the afternoon, then drive a little over an hour each way and meet mom and dad at a gas station/subway so they could give me a check to pay the rest of tuition.
Thursday (thank God it's almost over), I had to give a presentation in my First Nations (codename for "Native American") class, take a psychology exam, and register for classes (I was supposed to register last Friday, a week before it opens up to the other undergrads, but had to pay the rest of the tuition from this semester first, and as Dad hadn't gotten paid by the morons [it's a state/government job this time], I couldn't pay yet, and couldn't register on time).
I was up until 4 AM working on my presentation; basically, we just finished reading a little book - a First Nations spiritual/inspirational guide/book, and we were supposed to pick an idea broached in the book, and present about it, expound upon it. The problem was, the authors of the book had already expounded on it to the fullest extent. There was nothing left to expound upon! (upon which to expound. sorry.) I didn't have even a glimmer of an idea of what to do, and finally fell asleep at 4 AM, dreading the 10 o'clock class. I usually have good writing ideas when I sleep, and actually remembered them when I woke up at 7:20, so I ended up presenting a Native American myth, with a Super intro and conclusion written by me.
The thing I hate about that class is that it detracts from my other classes -- to me, the psychology exam was so much more important, but I had to devote my time and energy and stress to this crazy little presentation.
I registered for classes, and three (out of five) of the ones I need are full, so my advisor and I are going to have to figure out ways around that. I cried when I saw the "ERROR - CLASS FULL" notes as I registered for classes online (especially the one next to the Holocaust class that I want to take, so badly. And my friend The Slacker who hardly ever goes to classes and doesn't care about grades, GOT INTO THAT CLASS AND I'M THINKING OF STRANGLING HER AND TAKING HER PLACE).
Health class. I studied psych.
Tornado drill. I studied psych.
Psych exam. Probably going to be the lowest score I've gotten in that class. I hope it's not below a ninety -- I totally hammed it up on the essay questions.
There's a paper due for health class tomorrow, I have to work on a research paper for my First Nations class, cut out newspaper articles for that class, too, pack up my things for departure tomorrow, take books back to the library (I think I'll skate over there), and call Mom and let her know how much the bill for tuition was.
I hate money issues.
I can't wait until Saturday evening, when I can go watch my people sing in a choir concert. Seeing my people always relaxes me and makes everything easier to deal with, or makes me forget about the problems completely. I like that. I like the break of a few hours, when my mind forgets about the stress of school and money and getting a job and stuff, and I can just enjoy being around the people I love.
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