Sunday, August 07, 2005

Holy moley!

I've always been sensitive about my moles. They're scattered across my skin, and I have one, one that's more like a birthmark, on the lower right side of my back which I've always been self-conscious about and kept covered -- nobody other than family members has ever seen it. Swimsuits and clothes have been purchased with that mole in mind.

It's not that I'm too vain about it; instead, it's just another thing that makes me even more different than other people -- like being named "Dänika," being homeschooled, starting college when most people have a couple years of high school left, and having eleven fingerprints* isn't enough?! I grew self-conscious about my moles about the same time I wished my name were "Brittany" or "Ashley;" just anything normal so I could blend in.

But, thanks in part to dooce's latest Monthly Newsletter to her daughter, Leta -- and partly due to a comment a man left on her photo, a comment about how his fiancee's moles are somehow endearing and he would never want them removed, I have come to terms am coming to terms with my moles. It's a new experience, thinking of them as quirky features instead of shameful non-blend-in-able marks that should be hidden, but I feel more comfortable in my skin than I have in a very long time.

I've been examining them, and that smattering by my left wrist? Well, it ain't no Cassiopeia, baby, but it sure looks like the handle of the Big Dipper!

Tomorrow I go to the hospital to get a mole checked out. It started bleeding last month, which is unsettling, as that is never a good sign; I'm going to see a doctor to make sure it hasn't crossed over to the Dark Side and become troublesome. And suddenly the thought they will most likely take it off, as well as a few others, makes me a little upset **, because I was just getting to know them.

* The eleventh is on my left palm, and a different type than all my others.
** Add that to the nervousness factor, and we're all set - yikes!


Anonymous said...

Real women aren't air-brushed.

And don't need to be.

I hope everything goes ok with the checkup.


dänika said...

I really, really like that - I've never heard that before. How cool.

And thank you.

Anonymous said...

*thinks about the big, dark brown birthmark on the side of her FACE and feels little pity for all these "oh my little back moley- so embarrassing" people"



Heeds said...

i have a brown birthmark that everyone made fun of in elementary school/junior high and i was all self-concious about it. i dont know why kids are so mean.
anyway, when i started college while most people were still in high school (heh) a good professor noticed it and told me what she thought it looked like (the island of cuba)... and then another classmate said, no, it looks like the eifel tower... and then everyone wanted to come look at it to say what they thought it looked like.

ever since then its been a good ice breaker in a conversation that is starting out awkward, hehe. and i dont mind it anymore. well, most of the time.


dänika said...

Abbey. Why have I never seen it in pictures?

Cuba? Eifel Tower? That's one rockin' birthmark, heeds!

Anonymous said...

well... I just coined the phrase, basically.

LOL @ abbey

I, sadly, have no noticeable birthmarks... but I have scars! SCARS, baby! Hahahah!


Anonymous said...

there are a bajillion pics on our gallery with my birthmark in full view. i've never editted my pictures or asked brian to only take pics on my right side or something. i've never had shame about it. my mom told me all my life it's "where the angels kissed you." ha. :)


dänika said...

You're beautiful, Abbey.

And I like what your mom told you. ;)