biological clock and crap

Man. I sure hope God isn't going to have me wait to get married until I'm 87 or something like that. He's put such a desire in me to get married, have a kid...and this longing just increases each time I hold a baby (TPR's 3-month-old nephew is adorable!) or see a man holding a baby. So sometimes, when I'm frustrated by the fact that I don't even have any "potentials" in my life -- well...depends on the definition of "potential." if "potential" means "the kind of guy I want to marry" then okay. I remember that God is in control...that maybe I do know The Guy already, and I shouldn't be frustrated.

I remember on the back cover of a National Geographic from the 70's, there was an ad for...I think it was Kodak...anyway, it was of a guy relaxing (shirtless), with a diapered baby in his arms, and they were just looking each other in the eyes -- anyway, I thought that was so beautiful (I was 9 when I found it, I think). Over eleven years ago. Good heavens.


My birthday was on Sunday, and I spent the day (after going to church, talking to TPR and holding his nephew -- I held a baby on my birthday. awww. I was on a baby-high for the next day and a half) with my friend, H. She and I went to a family fall fest thing (sponsored by her church) at a huge pumpkin patch in town, had food, and colored each other's hair. My hair is now a dark burgundy brown, and when the sun hits it, it's bright red. It's so fun. :D So far, the comments on it stand thus:
J - "I really don't like it." (well, that's fine. I wasn't doing it for him, anyway. :P )
H - "I love it!" (of course. she did it to me. :D )
J - "I noticed it." (amazing, coming from the most unobservant person on the planet)
TPR - "I like it." (aww. thanks, man!)

I love going to a college where I know everyone. My friend C -- recently remarried -- is more like an older brother to me, and when I see him in the morning, he gives me a huge hug, lets me smell him (his cologne is perfectly splendid), and compliments me on some aspect of my wardrobe...it could be my hat, or dangly earrings, or a shirt, or coat, or anything. It's so nice. :)

so, I was right.

The ring is what I thought it was -- and he got it on his 16th birthday, too. Rockin'!

hey Kramer, dude, you ever killed a man?

"What do you think?! Do these LOOK like hands that have been soaking in Ivory liquid?"
I like saying that in a freaky voice and holding up my hands in front of my mom's face.

Last night at 10:37, I slayed The Beast, but it regained consciousness this morning -- BRIEFLY -- when I realized I'd not alphabetized my bibliography, and had left out one source. But let me say this, I nailed a stake through that sucker's temple and mailed it out PRIORITY today.

May the rejoicing now commence. I love knowing that my evenings are my own again -- that I can watch "Amelie" and Seinfeld and do my regular homework. Without the impending doom of an 18-page research paper hindering the experience.

Today for breakfast, I invented something very tasty and proteiney. In the food processor, I blended 1/2 cup of skim milk, 6 oz of fat-free, sugar-free everything-free strawberry yogurt, 1 1/3 scoops of chocolate protein shake mix, and 5 ice cubes. Mmm. A sugar-free chocolate-strawberry smoothie. That was a nice thing after working up a nice sweat downstairs on the treadmill pre-breakfast.

Is it bad when you're so craved for sweets that you talk to the candy aisle in Walmart? Yeah, I thought so.

demon-possessed mouse

The cursor just began sliding up to the top of the screen, and I swear I didn't touch the mouse. It did it all by itself. Eew.

The head librarian here keeps a dish of hard candy sitting out on the bookshelf, and just told me that I can help myself, whenever I want. She really didn't know what she was getting into, when she said that. I can stuff my face. For free. If I wasn't on the Body for Life program. Darn. Oh well, I'll eat my dry pitas and salty cottage cheese and drink my Perrier water and pretend that it all tastes as good as root beer barrels and butterscotch thingies.

So tell me whattya want, whattya really really want...

I'm taking a wee break from being scared out of my MIND (and my chair) from the suspense -- oh, the HORROR -- of the brilliant movie, Speed. I haven't seen it for years, and only saw a bit of it then, and now I understand The Attraction that is Keanu Reeves.

Speaking of hats, I started the Body for Life program today. It entails eating healthy food and exercising between 20 and 40 minutes a day, six days a week -- the seventh day you can eat whatever you want, and don't exercise -- for 12 weeks. At the end of the 12 weeks, I will have lost about 23 pounds, and gained nice slim, trim muscle. I'm excited. I feel better physically and emotionally when I'm thinner, and I've gained some weight recently because I've been eating when I'm stressed or anxious -- and I'm stressed and anxious, like, all the time.

Here I come, New Me!

Let the countdown begin!

Last night I purchased a ticket to go see Joshua Bell perform Vivaldi's Four Seasons in October. I'm so excited!! This will be the fourth time I've seen him in concert/met him, and the second time this year. In February, he remembered meeting me from the November a year and a half before. Uh-huh. That was fun! The man behind me in the queue to meet JB thought that I was just another teenybopper, who doesn't really know about music or Joshua Bell (except that he's cute, heh); when JB saw me, exclaimed "Oh, it's good to see you!" and stood up and gave me a huge hug -- oh boy, the look on that guy's face was priceless.

Joshua Bell, here I come!

TGiS

Late nights are harsh.

Dear God (and my family),
Please let me sleep in today. I need it. I know I slept in yesterday morning until 10:29, CST, but I'm really tired today, too. Saturdays are made for sleeping -- that's why it starts with an S.
-ps37

"blarg blarg bloo, ok?" "HUH?"

A silent conversation the other night between myself and The Purity Ring, sitting 20 feet apart from each other during the science lecture, reaffirmed something I'd been suspicious of for a long time:

I'm horrible at lip-reading. So blatantly awful that we nearly burst out laughing during the lecture; something which would have been very odd indeed -- two people, one sitting in the front of the room (and supposed to be facing the front), one sitting much further back, simultanously bursting into laughter at, um, what exactly? Uh-huh. Astronomy is that funny, folks!

fast-acting laugh medicine

Need a laugh?

http://cafe-de-nuit.diaryland.com/040707_88.html

...that means YOU, Maria

MEMORANDUM
9-15-04
TO: Maria Shriver, NBC
FROM: A Disturbed Boss, the Bossiest of All Bosses
RE: Siegfried and Roy

Ms. Shriver,

1. Don't use the word "inspiring" in the same sentence as "Roy Horn." Especially when the "Roy Horn" part is accompanied by an "is SO" which is then immediately followed by the "inspiring."

2. This morning, you used this odd coupling of words four times in two minutes. OVERLOAD!

3. I hope your cold gets better.

-ADB,BoAB.


----

mom: *gasps in amazement and holds up gargantuan chicken breast*
ps37: *clutches own chest* "I feel so bloody inadequate.

mojo, etc.

Today in church, a cute, chubby little african-american kid was sitting two rows ahead of me, and during the praise&worship time, he was really gettin down wit' his bad self. He was belting out the songs, clapping his hands and shaking his booty, loving every second of it. His brother and sister were just standing still on either side of him, but, man, HE was enjoying himself.

----

The rest of this is a whine.

I never used to be allergic to anything other than honeydew melon; that state lasted until I was 14 or 15, and I've been gradually acquiring other allergies. I'm allergic to a whole slew of preservatives (monosodium glutamate, sodium benzoate, potassium benzoate, potassium sorbate -- think Doritos [or any flavored chips except for SunChips], nearly all soda, almost all deli meat, KFC, pizza, barbeque sauce, nearly all asian or european cuisine served at restaurants here in the US, etc.), sodium nitrites (bacon, ham, pepperoni, anything like that), pollens (I have a headache, sore throat, and sinus problems 8 months out of the year), cats (we have three, and we are not getting rid of them), walnuts, honeydew, pineapple, kiwi fruit, corn and corn products (popcorn, corn chips, etc.), and bean plants, to name a few. I'm sick of feeling sick all the time. Ibuprofen and otc allergy stuff doesn't really help. At this rate, I'll be living in a bubble by the time I'm 25. No wonder I won't get married, Jenni.

darn the low pressure systems

I feel awful. I've always been affected by low pressure systems, and I am so tired today. You know what it's like when you're trying to run through deep water -- it just feels like all the effort you're putting into movement totally isn't working the way it should. I just want to go lie down and sleep until this pressure system slogs its way to another part of the nation, but I can't.

I have a 15-page (not including the cover page or bibliography) paper due on the 21st of this month. Ten days away. On homosexuality. If the topic was anything else, it'd be finished by now (or at least 10 pages further along than this one is). There's only so much you can say about it -- and I've said it. Now I'm trying to think of really creative ways to tease this sucker out to the required length.

I have to write a 2-page paper for the blankety-blankety-blank-blank new music professor. I want the other music professor back. I miss my friend.

I have to stumble through another part of a chapter for astronomy -- jump in, try not to drown in it, and pull myself out with my fingernails, on the other side.

I have to memorize a song to sing for that new music professor. I so do not want to do this.

I have to read another chapter or two in my theatre book.

And I'm already terrified about midterms, which are over a month away.

the pickup line that almost was

"Oh, wow, is that a purity ring!? I have one too, look!!" (so what are you doing Friday night?)

Thank you, Lord, for keeping my big mouth shut.

kangaroos and record lows

I don't know really what's up, but lately, I've heard/had some pretty funny things/thoughts. Or maybe having my nieces here lowered my standard of funniness. Whichever it is, I'm thoroughly enjoying it. And herein I laud my own presumed Funniness and those of People Near Me:

"Lately, my heart's been jumping like a kangaroo on steriods," was the thought that flashed across my mind, neon light zapping my retinas, as I stood refilling my water bottle.

The astronomy professor prodded a dozing student in the front row; "You're not going to die on me, are you? That'd really be a new low in the history of teaching."

The same professor exclaimed with gusto a few nights previous, "Muslims go to Mecca; nerds go to Westminster Abbey!" Thanks. I'm going there in November but you are STILL more nerd than I will ever be.

Surveying the rhinestones that spell out "Anne Klein" across my chest, "Hey, is that Braille?"

I left a message on Dad's cell just before I had to go to my astronomy class wherein the professor spent the entire hour and fifteen minutes bashing the Church: "Oh, wait, I have to go; it's almost time to enter the Chamber of Death. Love you. Bye."

Lately, we've gone through more toilet paper than a woman pregnant with triplets.

I'll spare you from the rest.

r U mY mAn?!?!?!?!?!

Inspired by Gorgeousness PersonifiedTM, Jenni herself.

My Man Must:
-be a true Christian
-have beautiful, artistic hands
-love and cherish the odd person I am
-realise that I'll have crappy days where all I want is a hug and a shoulder to cry on
-not be arrogant (die! die! die!)
-not be too macho to weep occassionally
-love worshipping the Lord
-have lovely eyes
-adore children
-[without my asking] Rub my feet when I'm pregnant
-get along well with my family
-recognize the fact that I'm an odd individual, and not try(or want) to make me change
-want to travel
-love learning
-have lovely hair, but not on his back or feet(eew!)
-get excited and put christmas decorations up in early november
-want a dog
-be nice and warm to snuggle up to
-adore my wonderful cousins
-feast on my nephew's cheeks with me

Not in any order except for the first three. Oh, and the ones about hair and snuggling and eyes and cannibalism. Those are important, and are vying for a place in the first three.

Any applicants who fit all points, please clone yourselves and spread out over the world in a network of Great Eligible Guys, so as to counteract the influx of Horrible Awful Guys.

Allons au café François!

Monsieur, Monsieur, s'il vous plait?!
Un moment, Mademoiselle...Oui, Mademoiselle, vous désirez?
Un café crème pour moi, e pour Madame, une orange pressée, s'il vous plait.
Oui. Pour Mademoiselle, un café au lâit, e pour Madame, une orange pressée, oui?
Non, Monsieur. Pour moi, un café crème, s'il vous plait; pour Madame, oui, une orange pressée, s'il vous plait.
Oui. Pour Mademoiselle, un café crème; e pour Madame, une orange pressée.
Oui, oui.
...
Voilà...un café crème pour Mademoiselle; e pour Madame, une orange pressée!
Merci, Monsieur!
Je vous en prie, Mademoiselle e Madame.

gobble up the babycheeks!

Oh my word. My brother&SisterInLaw's spawn are here, and the baby boy -- the youngest, clocking in at 7 months -- is the most adorable creature I've ever seen (including Spiderman, which is really hard to believe, I know). I've always been repelled by any reference to cannibalism, but let me just say that if he disappears in the night, and the leftovers are little toes and some fuzzy hair left by my pillow, it's all his fault for being so darn cute.

spinsterhood!?

After recent developments, mine eyes have been opened to a New Truth:

My love story is not being lovingly crafted by my heavenly Father.

Apparently it's in the hands of someone here on Earth.

I've been relegated to the realms of ancient spinsterhood by none other than (...wait for it, wait for it...) Jenni.

I thought she loved me!