A bit ago, I mentioned the fact that I hadn't been able to wash my face with my eyes closed for a very long time, out of fear someone would come up behind me and push my head into the sink and drown me in warm water laced with Oil of Olay Sensitive Skin Foaming Face Wash. For the past two months, I've gotten consistently better, and I can now wash my face with my eyes closed, like, every single night. This is amazing!! I've been wracking my brain, trying to come up with a reason, and I can only think of two things that are different than before:
- I've decided on a major
- The constant presence of a white boy rapping.
Whatever it is, I'm not complaining. It's amazing, this being able to live without such choking fear.
****
As of today, my parents have been married for thirty-five years. Thirty-five. Wow.
5 comments:
I'm glad you've been able to almost get over your paranoid phobia. And congrats to your parents.
Who is the white boy rapping? Not this guy?jc
white boy rapping would be the guy I have a ton of drafts saved about.
I'm not even going to think about all the grammatical atrocities I just committed.
You know what? I'll tell you what I'm gonna do... I'm gonna email this psychoanalyst/hypnotherapist/counselor guy named Harry, in England, and I'm going to pretend you're my dear sister whom we're all quite worried about, and I'm going to describe your phobias and see if he has a name for it, and see if he can tell me how we can help you. Hey, I might even pretend to be you with your phobia, that way I can dress it up a little, maybe even drool a bit. yeah. drool. that'll be a nice touch. Yeah. So that's what I'm gonna do. *psyches himself up* Yeah, I'll do it! *deflates* *sigh* So should I really do it?
Oh yes... I almost forgot... *dials UN Atrocity Department*
"Hello? Yes, I want to report atrocious atrocities and human rights violations against grammars the world over."
-Court
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