Monday, June 26, 2006



I'm coming apart at the seams today, and it is the most frustrating feeling ever. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I got hardly any sleep last night, and when I tried to catnap this afternoon, a group of kids decided to play -- loudly -- right under my window. Out of the hundreds of rooms, they picked MY window.

And it has to do with the fact that I'm feeling extraordinarily lonely -- the kind of heavy, heartbreaking loneliness where tears are just a breath away; and that from this end, the days I have to wait until John and I see each other again, well, they're stretching into what seems like forever.

I had a midterm today, and three papers due; my final is on Thursday, and another three papers due then. I'm feeling utterly overwhelmed and exhausted right now, and I wish more than anything that it were the future, and that I could escape and be folded in those arms.

Instead, I'm sitting in my room with the TV on behind me for company, and eating a box of grape tomatoes, plotting out my papers before I type them up (this is why essay questions are the easiest for me; because I write everything out in my head before I ever touch the pen or keyboard).

Music Recommendations:
If you have iTunes or Limewire (preferably iTunes), download "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," by the Ab Orchestra. And then "Pavane," played by Steve Erquiaga. These songs are the soundtrack to my day; they always soothe my heart.

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