Tuesday, January 11, 2005

gimme an m-o-n-o-u-c-l-e-i-o-s-i-s!

I haven't posted for awhile because I've been sick for the last week. The last real meal I ate was last Tuesday, a week ago today, and I've been really flu-ish and pukey since Friday. Went to the clinic yesterday late morning, the Dr. swabbed my throat, and the rapid strep test came back negative. Sent to lab, they drew blood (and I almost fainted afterwards as the lab lady was helping me walk over to a bed where I could lie down, heh -- and then I got JUICE!! because I almost passed out!! I love hospitals!! it's almost as good as going to the dentist when you're a kid and getting the NO CAVITIES sticker), and checked the white blood cell count, and it was 11,200 (this one piece of knowledge makes me sound all medicinally up on things, andI feel like a person with a nursing degree from one of those phony universities) and normal is around 11,000, so he didn't think they were elevated enough to be indicative of mono.


No mono!

Strep. This is good, because strep can be treated with antibiotics, and I'm moving into a dorm the end of next week. He said he was 90% sure that I had strep, though they'd do a more thorough test and let us know the results, um, today.

I hate talking about puking, because puking is gross, but, serious, since Friday, I've thrown up about, oh, 30 times? Yeah. Disgusting. And by my third time puking this morning, my throat got to the point where I couldn't swallow anymore. My throat would go into spasms and not let me swallow anything. I got so thirsty, and cryey, because I haven't gotten any sleep at all, really, over the past few nights, and I haven't really eaten anything for a WEEK, and my new old navy jeans (shush, Jenni "Oh, those are always so big!" ;P ) are hardly staying up.

We went back to the hospital this afternoon, and I'd lost another three pounds from the appointment yesterday. The Doctor -- who is incredibly handsome, yikes! made me laugh, because he had me lying on my side on that table/bed thing, and had his hand under my shirts, feeling my stomach..."Relax your stomach. Make it soft."
It tickled.
And besides, bozo, I've spent a lifetime tensing whatever stomach muscles I might have whenever someone touches my stomach. It's a REFLEX. And I was trying not to think of how WEIRD it was that this really handsome Dr. about whom mom and I have joked for years (Oh, wouldn't it be embarrassing to be his patient!? he's just way to good looking!) was FEELING ME UP.

He wanted more bloodwork done, and I was pretty irritable there at the end, because it seemed like he wasn't getting how much pain I was in, and how NO I CAN'T SWALLOW AT ALL, OF COURSE I'VE BEEN TRYING, DO YOU THINK I LIKE THIS?! so I was shuffled along to the lab for a mono spot test.

It came back positive.

Um, what?

That was at 3. I was hospitalized until 8:45 tonight, with a huge IV of fluids and another of steroids dripping into my veins as I watched "The 70's Show," two episodes of "Everybody loves Raymond," "Friends," and the finale of "The Biggest Loser." That hospital bed felt so comfy, and it was such a wonderful feeling, knowing that the fluids my body so desperately needed were coursing through my veins right then.

And I SWALLOWED! Tonight! After I got home! A popsicle and a half!

But, really, MONO?! I have no idea whom I could've gotten it from.

But I do know that when the first nurse started jabbing the IV needle into the back of my hand, missed the target, and started shifting the whole needle sideways in my skin, it burned so much that I almost fainted (I don't like needles. Uuuugh), and I lost all hearing -- except for her shouting to a coworker: "Someone get maria! [my] pulse just went over 147!"

Oh. heh. writing about that reminded me of something I said to the Doctor, because I was so irritated that he just kept talking and talking when I was dehydrated and trying to not throw up and wanting to swallow and he was just talking about SWALLOWING PILLS, which isn't something I can do ANYWAY, if I can't SWALLOW! and he was talking about how I should practice with canned peas and corn at home. "Yeah. And I should get used to needles by shooting up on HEROIN." Audible gasp from mother, shocked look from father. doctors should be treated with respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

But later, he came into my hospital room, just wandering around, carrying his coffee cup (I love that!), and it was right after I had almost passed out, and there was a funny halo around him...and I think he saw by my woozy smile that I was apologizing for the irritable comments I'd made earlier.

But yeah. Mono. And I move into the dorms in a week and a few days, and there is so much stuff I have to do, but Doctor told me that I need to focus on sleeping.



Anonymous said...

yuckies. I hate needles. I don't necessarily like doctors either. I feel for you. I hope you get better soon - now is not the time to come down with the creepin' crud, especially the kissing disease.



djm said...

hehe, yeah.

Needles are icky. ugh. usually when they draw blood, they use baby needles on me, because needles freak me out so much. But yesterday, nobody in the lab or anywhere used nice little needles -- they were all MONSTERS. and two of them MALFUNCTIONED. ugh. ugh. ugh.

Anonymous said...

oooo...sometimes they'll use baby needles? I didn't know that! I'm so scared of needles but they never did that for me. I haven't had anything related to a needle done to me since I was, like, 15 or something. A long time ago.


P.S. Will you give me your school mailing address so I can send you mail? (duh. that's normally what an address is for. thank you captain obvious.)

Jen said...

Yeah. But I only use butterfly needles on people who specifically request them, or if I can't for the life of me find a good fat vein. ;-)

djm said...

I don't have my address handy right now, but I'll make sure I get it to you, Kate. And, heh, I'll need yours again, because I wrote it down and put it somewhere where I wouldn't forget it. RIGHT. LIKE THAT EVER WORKS. :P

This summer when I had pre-surgery bloodwork done, the vampire lady knew it was my first time ever having blood drawn, and she told em taht she would use a small needle. I felt braver, and she did it, and I was all proud of myself for being so brave, and then she burst my bubble..."this is the needle we use on infants." (well, hopefully not THAT needle. but, you know.)

Michael said...

I don't like to look at needles either. I am oblivious to pain but I can't stand to see someone puncturing my skin. It's psychological.

And, I found your little dialogue about the doctor highly amusing. I've always been highly embarassed by cute nurses. Hairdressers are the same way. Cute girl hairdressers make me antsy.

I'm just highly . . . weird. And you won't answer me because you probably forget who I am or don't want me nosing around your blog. So bye. ;-)