[sic]

[sic]

I don't ever go for the t-shirts with the cute/funny/geeky/halfheartedly-offensive sayings, but I'd make an exception for this one.

VII

Day 7 (with a new addition)

I woke up this morning at 5:30. My body's still on Daylight Savings Time, and as I really enjoy being awake before anyone else (I'm the most productive very early in the morning and very late at nght), I'm going to keep my body on Daylight Savings Time as long as possible.

Anyway, I woke up and my legs were absolutely keeeeelling me. The pain went away about an hour later, so I think I might have just slept in an odd position, rather than overdoing it yesterday. Yippee!

I haven't gotten my workout in yet, as I've been totally productive on a paper all morning (had no idea how I'd be able to get it past three pages...and I'm currently in the middle of the sixth, with about two more jostling around in my head, anxious to get out on paper.

Oh, have to mention this because it's so cute: last night John called at 9 pm (he does every single night):

me: Hi honey!
him: Hello, my gorgeous sweetheart!

Oh, yeah, That's one of the many reasons I keep him around. ;)

Edited at 7:51pm to add:

Ugh. I had class at 11-12, 2-3, and 3-5:30, and had plans to exercise with one of my friends right after my last class. What a colossal mistake! I was so tired (remember, I got up at 5:30) before I even stepped onto the first machine. I still made it through 4.5 miles on the bike, 22 minutes on the treadmill, and ten on the elliptical (I set it for 20, but had such a hard time even getting to 10), but that is so far below what I have been doing lately, that I'm a bit down right now. I also didn't weigh myself this morning, merely because I'm in the middle of t-o-m and not feeling that super right now. So I'm waiting until tomorrow to have my weigh-in.

In other news, my paper turned out to be ten pages, and I had a blast writing it! We'll see sometime this week whether the professor likes it as much as I do, though.

So tonight I'm exhausted, and rejoicing that I don't have anything due tomorrow; I can sit here with my sugar-free twin popsicles (pina colada right now, yum!), watch "Friends," (or something equally brainless, as I'm not up to exercising any of my brain cells right now), and go to bed early. Yay!

Unbelievable!!

Unprecedented!

This afternoon, I was in the gym, and decided to make myself stay on the elliptical machine for 10 minutes. The elliptical machine...the one that makes my limbs fly up and I can't ever catch my balance. Ugh.

I was nearly finished with the program when I realized that I was enjoying myself. Previously, "enjoy" and "exercise" have never been in the same thought. Ever. But today, I loved the way I felt when I was exercising! My body was working the way it's supposed to, and I was loving it! So much so, in fact, that as soon as the program was finished, I started it again. 20 minutes on the elliptical! And I can't wait for tomorrow, when I get to do it again!!

VI

Day 6:

It's incredible what a difference even six days makes! I've been tracking my activities, weight, and nutrition through fitday, and it's fascinating to watch the changing charts -- my weight's coming off more quickly than I expected (even though I'm smack in the middle of the most awful time of the month). The muscles that came out of hibernation the quickest were my biceps, calves, and hamstrings, and I can already feel a difference in my abs. Hooray!!

I didn't go to the gym yesterday (day five) because one of my friends came up to spend the day with me. I had planned ahead, however, and spent an extra 50 minutes in the gym on Friday, as well as doing my ab crunches here in my room last night. It was nice to have the day off, but my body has already grown accustomed to getting up early and working out, so when my body automatically woke up yesterday morning at 6:15, raring to go, it took a lot to force myself back to sleep. The "day off" didn't mean a day off from eating healthfully, either; it just meant a day of not going to the gym. And it's funny, but because I'd stayed away from corn, wheat, and sugar for so long before I even began this routine, I have absolutely no desire for any of them.

This morning I hopped on the stair-stepping machine in the basement of my dorm (it has a small exercise area, with two out-dated bikes, a treadmill, a stairstepper, and a huge cushioned mat, perfect for stretching.). A few days ago, just 5 minutes on that beast kicked my butt; it's a tougher workout than biking for five miles! But this morning I opted for a 10-minute pre-programmed workout, and as soon as that one was over, I started over and did the same routine for another 10 minutes. I discovered that differences in posture affect the amount of calories burned (and flights of stairs climbed); in the second 10 minutes (same pre-programmed routine, remember), I burned 40% more calories than in the first, and climbed another 10 flights. All because I stood up straight, chest out, butt in, centering myself!! It also changed the amount I sweated, heh.


NaBloPoMo

I signed up to participate in NaBloPoMo, a NaNoWriMo spinoff. I don't have time to write a novel in November, but I can make time to post each day. I've neglected this blog lately; my posts won't be completely about exercise, either: I'm compiling a list of topics to write on. And if you have any suggestions for a topic (or two or three), please write them in the comment box!

Time for a shower, then Mass!

6 weeks

What a difference 6 weeks makes...

I don't do well with creating habits. Good habits, anyway, particularly exercise habits. I'll do well for a week or so, adhering to my newly-formed regimen. But in the past, the first time that my schedule deviates from that regimen, I have a horrible struggle getting back on track. I can't hop back ON the bandwagon, so to speak.

The past three mornings, though, I've dragged myself out of bed before 7 AM -- when it's still dark out, people (and it'll be worse on Sunday, when the clocks "fall back") and down the block to the gym. In the past three days, I have logged more time in that gym than I have in the almost 2 years that I've been here.

Pathetic, I know.

I'd never wanted to workout there, because I didn't want any of the multitudes of size -5, perfectly-tanned, phy ed majors, all with tiny shorts, perfect blond highlights and fake nails, to see me. I loathed them, mainly because I wasn't them. Trust me, I didn't want the blond hair or the fake nails, or even want to be skinny-skinny. I just wanted to blend in, to be one of the Thin Girls, someone impossibly fit. But these Aryan Youth inhabited the gym and made it seem as though the only people who worked out were people who were ALREADY skinny. There were times I would go to the gym, then turn around and flee the scene, because the only vacant machines were in the front row. There was no way I was going to work out where all of them could see me, see how I fight with the elliptical machines. I don't know how some people can still look sexy and perfect while elliptical-ing; my shoes scoot up to the front of the footrests and smoosh my toes; my knees fling up to my chin, and I feel absolutely frantic. My Perfect Gym would have cubicles, where I could work out with nobody else able to see my butt, or my thighs, or see that maybe, just maybe, I was a bit out of breath.

Finally, three days ago, I got to the point where I realized that it was all a bit ridiculous. I was not going to refuse to take advantage of the gym (brand new, state-of-the-art facility) because of self-consciousness and being intimidated. Plus, I've been so good lately, not having any wheat or corn products, filling up my 32 oz waterbottle four times through the day, having hardly any carbs, and enough protein. (Oh, and another super-motivator: 7/14/07. we're getting married, and I want to be trim and lovely.)

Three days ago, I decided to do something about my body. I recently saw a picture of myself, taken when I was nine years old, posing in my ballet outfit for mom; a beautifully dorky little girl with huge glasses and long, long hair, skinny little legs...and sucking in her tummy so far that it looked as though she hadn't been fed in months, terrified of looking fat in the picture.

I realized when I saw that picture how horrendously sad it was. I've never been comfortable in my body, eternally self-conscious, and I have, finally, had it up to here with it all.

The past few days, I've been working out between 45 and 80 minutes a day (I xercise between 45 and 60 minutes in the morning; on t-th I attend a toning class in the evening). I'm not doing it for anyone else; finally, I'm doing it for myself. I want to try on clothes and have them fit perfectly; I don't want to hand things back to the fitting-room attendant and make up an excuse about why I'm not taking them. I don't want to fold my arms across my tummy when I sit down, or always adjust my clothes, pulling my shirts down, and my pants up. I want to feel...comfortable in my own skin.

This morning, I didn't want to get out of bed. I was cold, and I was exhausted. But John called at 6:58 and asked if I was on the way to the gym. He wasn't checking-up on me; he calls every morning when he first wakes up. But I realized that he already thinks of my morning workouts as a habit, and that motivates me to keep going. So I pulled myself out of bed and pushed my sleepy legs into workout pants, socks, and shoes, and by the time 9 o'clock rolled around, I had had 64 fl oz of water, spent an hour working out, taken a shower, and was ready for class.

I've created an account at fitday, and I keep a record of my exercise and eating habits there. This is where the "6 weeks" tie in. I am going to keep up with this workout regimen, with my good foods (eating healthful foods is not a struggle for me anymore, as it's been in my lifestyle for months), and see how far I progress by December 6th -- six weeks from yesterday. I want to be one of Those People by then, trim and fit, someone who always makes time for exercise.

I'm writing this to put it on the record, to hold me accountable. Feel free to ask me how I'm doing; guilt is a tremendous motivator. :)

Here goes.

this weekend.

This weekend, summed up in one photo.

kindred spirits

setting: the student senate office last evening; katie was showing me pictures, and one was of a man in a banana costume.

Katie: danika, would you be afraid of the bananaman?
me: no. but if he were in a cat costume, well, I'd be afraid of catman.
cody: why? what does the kathmandu?

Nighttime escapades

When I woke up this morning, my bear and John's tiger were facedown on the bed, Smoogles with one leg and his tail over the edge, and Teddy a little bit ahead of him, looking for all the world as though they were sneakily climbing back into bed after a night of fun, then froze when I saw them.

a new low...

The Depths to Which I Have Sunk:

I made a relatively easy deal with myself today: Abstain from Sugar. This should've been easy, since I have no small bills or change lying around for the vending machine.

Just now, I spent five minutes running a Jolly Rancher under hot water, attempting to make it fit for human consumption after it had lived in my backpack for eight months.

And it's really good.

the senses of Autumn

recently, there have been unmistakeable signs that Fall is here at last. there are some things that always make me delight in the changing of seasons; going from scorchingly hot, dry temperatures to chilly, crisp days, makes me come alive.

the tastes of Autumn: pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks; caramel apple cider, also from Starbucks. pumpkin pie. macintosh apples. cinnamon. squash, with plenty of butter and salt. mashed potatoes. puffed brown rice with silk and brown sugar.

the smells: bonfires. cinnamon and nutmeg. bread baking in ovens. coffee, early in the morning. cranberry and pumpkin-scented candles.

the feels: the texture of corduroy. the warm snugness of a good sweater. thick, warm knits. the chilly nip of an autumn breeze. the heaviness of multiple quilts on the bed. waking up in the morning with a warm body and cold face. hand-made scarves keeping one's neck warm. warming poorly-circulated hands with a mug of piping-hot coffee.

the sights: a deep, rust-coloured orange. turkey red. gold. a rich brown. pine-green.

the sounds: football games in the cold evenings. the crunch and rustle of fallen leaves. the sound of flocks of canada geese migrating south. mary chapin carpenter's "10,000 miles." eva cassidy. norah jones.


what things remind you of Fall?

Demoted...

The fact that Pluto has so recently been demoted to the status of "dwarf planet" and is no longer than nine, makes me horribly sad.

For other's thoughts on the issue, click here.

them's dancing shoes!

abbey, my fellow shoe-loving friend,

I thought of you today, when I bought these. if they had a heel, they would be absolutely dreamy. they're horribly cute as they are, though. they make me want to dance. :)

and also when I saw these, too but couldn't justify buying them. it's the first time I've ever thought that suede shoes (blue suede shoes!) could even possibly be a good idea.

i tried on yet another pair, but they made me feel like an elf. a big elf with huge feet (the shoes have a magnifying effect), but an elf nonetheless.

love,
d.

fashion d'oh pas

fashion d'oh pas

When I moved back here a week and a half ago, I managed to walk off without my workout shoes, ballet flats, and other various foot apparel. The only footwear I have here:

One (1) pair of white/floral flip-flops
One (1) pair gold strappy sandals

It was fine for the first few days...but then the weather turned chilly. Now, as we have morning in the low 50s (sometimes in the 40s or 30s), I long to wear my cute Fall skirts and tights...but I don't have the appropriate shoes with which to do so.

This morning I blingoed "tights and sandals," to see if it was a huge fashion error, or one of those absurd things that suddenly is THE THING TO DO (hello, leggings and short skirts, anyone? A sign of the nearing of the Apocolypse? So glad I'm not the only one who thinks so!)...but alas, everyone had disparaging remarks regarding the subject.

"she was wearing tights and sandals (EWW!)"

And today of all days, I'm not up for any EWW! comments. So it's with sadness that I retire my cute skirts to the closet, and wear jeans. Again. And freeze my legs and feet.

gluten...

Ugh.

Wheat, tonight,* for the first time in over a month.

My body wants to curl up and die.

*at a friend's house; her mom had made supper for us. Also, my first time ever having ravioli.

first time!

Always a runner-up, never a winner...

...until now! A few days ago, I went to get my mail here on campus for the first time since I stopped by in August; there were two cards from the bridal shop where I'd found my dress. I figured they were invitations to bridal shows; the saleswoman had mentioned it. I sliced the envelope open, and found a beautifully engraved card; opened up the card itself, and here is what it said:

Danika,
Congratulations!! You are a winner!
Thank you for submitting a survey
at our store.
Bring this card in for:
$10 off anything

Mention this card and receive
25% off the printing of your
wedding invitation order.

The $10 off is nice -- but I'm really excited about the 25% off wedding invitations! Whee!!!!

favourite...

Favourite lotion:

Got2b Spa Body Smoothie

It's amazingly smooth, and smells incredible; a refreshing blend of avocado oil, shea butter, and cucumber, apricot, and mango fruit extracts. To me, this lotion is totally Fall: sweet and slightly spicy, like a crisp autumn day. I bought a bottle last fall, and just now I'm finally running out; I have to remove the pump and shake some lotion into my hand. Target stopped carrying it, and that makes me so sad! I've been using it less and less frequently, just a tiny bit at a time, to put off the time that I'll have to throw out the bottle.

To-Do this weekend:

To-Do this weekend:

Read Howard Zinn's "Columbus, the Indians, and Human Progress
Write two essays about Zinn's writings
Compose a Shakespearean sonnet
Read "The Taming of the Shrew" in its entirety
Read chapters 1-31 (pages 1-115) of Moby Dick
Study for the Moby Dick quiz
Read A History of the Modern Middle East, pages 1-148, 236 & 237
Complete two essays regarding the pages in Modern Middle East
Read "The Noble Dream," Georg Iggers; Intro and chapters 1-4

Also:
Breathe, Eat, and Sleep. If there's time. I'm supposed to drive home and go to a wedding today, but there's no way I have time to do that.

I got up two hours ago and cleaned my room -- I hate working in a messy space. Everything's dusted and windexed, the water fountain is refilled, and there's a gorgeous, stiff breeze coming through my open window. I'm about to fix a cup of tea, and then settle back with Moby Dick for the next hour.

Wish me luck -- no...wish me stamina.

A poem...

A poem that simultaneously enchants me and breaks my heart...


"He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven"

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.

-- William Butler Yeats

Confession

Confession:

Apollo 13 makes me cry and get chills, every single time I watch it. I've seen it countless times, and yet I still have that horrid feeling where my heart sinks into my stomach and I nearly implode with how awful I feel, waiting (and waiting and waiting, and watching the astronauts' families waiting and waiting) to see the shuttle reemerge close to the Earth, after they lost communication with NASA.

It's one movie that John and I agree on; he loves anything to do with SpaceFlight, and I love anything that has Tom Hanks/Bill Paxton/Ed Harris in it.

finally! we're getting to MY part of the year.

I logged on to the computer this morning, and when I realized what day it was, I was like, "Holy September, Batman!" Only not, because I haven't seen Batman. But if I had, I would have been.

I moved back to school yesterday, finished hauling my things up the three flights of stairs by 9:40, and unpacked/talked to John until 2:30 this morning. I'm exhausted right now, because I should be sleeping; but there's a Huge, Really Important Event on Campus this weekend, and ever since the football game right outside my window finished last night, men have been setting up tents and pounding stakes and running refrigerated trailers and all sorts of loud things.

Classes begin on Tuesday, and I am so far beyond excited, I can't describe it. (But I'll try.) I love school, and I especially love it in the autumn, when the air is crisp and cool. To me, Fall is the new Spring -- I feel so refreshed, so rejuvenated, so ready to handle anything. The world seems new and fresh, so clean after the hot, dusty days of summer. Plus, I'm graduating in may, so there's an end in sight, a goal to work toward; it's not endless years of school anymore. I have a goal beyond that, though, a motivating factor that excites me beyond anything else -- the fact that after I do a good job this year and graduate, we get married!

And that is so exciting.