On the Art of Being Selfish

On the Art of Being Selfish*

When the wedding planning began, months ago, I tried to be fair and open, taking everyone's suggestions, everyone's advice.

Because of my sweet openmindedness, I have been utterly overwhelmed**. I have received advice from people at the post office, from people I don't know, from friends of friends, from people telling me about a mother's aunt's friend's sister (you think I'm joking? I'm perfectly serious). And last night, when I was at the onset of yet another "WHAT SHOULD I DO" migraine, I suddenly realized:

I've had it. I refuse. I will no longer put myself in this position; I've had enough with being so open and accepting.

I can't please everyone; if I tried, I'd end up with a wedding that is nothing that I wanted, but a huge, nonsensical mix of ideas and plans. And I realized that that's not what I want. I'm finally putting my foot down, finally planning it the way John and I want it.

I've learned a few things in the past 15 hours, since that Earth-shattering revelation, particularly that this art, the art of Being Obstinate and Selfish, has a few requirements:

a) standing your ground
b) being prepared for other people being upset
c) the consumption of multiple double-chocolate fudge brownie cupcakes




* is it really selfishness when it's our own wedding?
** no offense to the advice-givers; I received a lot of good advice, as well; but there is a point at which any other advice is overwhelming.

the next year...

the next year...

I reviewed my Degree Progress Report this evening, to find out which classes I need to take next semester; insuring that I meet all requirements for graduation.

I thought I was going to have another 19-credit semester, and there was always the nightmare in the back of my head that something would occur that would prevent me from graduating...and that it would snowball from there, that because of me not graduating, John and I would have to live apart even longer, that he would be moving away to grad school while I have another semester here.


Much to my delight, I have 10 credits left to fufill; 12, in order to stay covered by my parents insurance. Two English classes, my Senior Thesis class, and then one 3-credit class of my choice. Senior Thesis is on alternate Fridays, from 3-5, and my English classes are both Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. I'm trying to find an easy, interesting 3-credit class that happens on Tuesday and Thursday nights, so that I'll have a lot of time off. Some weeks, I'll have Friday-Saturday-Sunday-Monday off, and other weeks, I'll have Saturday-Monday off. At any rate, I'll never have to be back on campus before Tuesdays at 1pm, so I could even visit John on the weekends and not have to leave his family's house until Tuesday morning!


This is great for more reasons, too: I have so much planning left to do for the wedding. So much. Aagh, sooo much. We have the two biggies nailed down -- the church and the reception hall-- but my checklist is telling me that we need to book our dj and photographer, and I need to start being fitted for my gown...we need to finalize our colours and number of attendants. I hadn't even thought about all this recently, because I've been so busy with The Midterms That Never End. So tonight, I spent a lot of time online, and found a great site for invitations (exactly like the ones we saw at the bridal shop, only, you know, like $300 cheaper!).


Lately, I've also become disenchanted with the dress I found back in August. I realized that, even though it'd be great on some people, it's not what I want; it's too bold and too harsh for me.

So tonight I was on the same designer's website, and I came across what I think is possibly the most gorgeous dress, ever. It's amazingly beautiful and classic, and not a penny more expensive than the other one!!

Here are two pictures that I took from the site, since I can't link to the specific page:

And the bride/model tripping gaily through the foam:

first time!

Always a runner-up, never a winner...

...until now! A few days ago, I went to get my mail here on campus for the first time since I stopped by in August; there were two cards from the bridal shop where I'd found my dress. I figured they were invitations to bridal shows; the saleswoman had mentioned it. I sliced the envelope open, and found a beautifully engraved card; opened up the card itself, and here is what it said:

Danika,
Congratulations!! You are a winner!
Thank you for submitting a survey
at our store.
Bring this card in for:
$10 off anything

Mention this card and receive
25% off the printing of your
wedding invitation order.

The $10 off is nice -- but I'm really excited about the 25% off wedding invitations! Whee!!!!

finally! we're getting to MY part of the year.

I logged on to the computer this morning, and when I realized what day it was, I was like, "Holy September, Batman!" Only not, because I haven't seen Batman. But if I had, I would have been.

I moved back to school yesterday, finished hauling my things up the three flights of stairs by 9:40, and unpacked/talked to John until 2:30 this morning. I'm exhausted right now, because I should be sleeping; but there's a Huge, Really Important Event on Campus this weekend, and ever since the football game right outside my window finished last night, men have been setting up tents and pounding stakes and running refrigerated trailers and all sorts of loud things.

Classes begin on Tuesday, and I am so far beyond excited, I can't describe it. (But I'll try.) I love school, and I especially love it in the autumn, when the air is crisp and cool. To me, Fall is the new Spring -- I feel so refreshed, so rejuvenated, so ready to handle anything. The world seems new and fresh, so clean after the hot, dusty days of summer. Plus, I'm graduating in may, so there's an end in sight, a goal to work toward; it's not endless years of school anymore. I have a goal beyond that, though, a motivating factor that excites me beyond anything else -- the fact that after I do a good job this year and graduate, we get married!

And that is so exciting.