transference.

transference.

J. was my best friend two years ago. I met him at my other college, and we were together nearly 24/7 for over a year and a half. I felt more comfortable around him than anyone else I'd met up to that point, and then we moved to different colleges and grew apart a bit. This spring when my dad was in an accident and I was home alone, I didn't want any of my other friends with me, or even the guy I was seeing at the time; I just wanted J. Not to talk to, particularly, not to cry on, but just to know that he was there.

There's a guy here in one of my classes, who reminds me overwhelmingly of J. Not in amazingly similar looks, but in the shaggy hair and the sweatpants, the laid-back attitude, and the habit of slouching around most of the time, then catching you off-guard with some deep, philosophical thought. It's funny, how I've transferred the feelings I had for my friend, onto this complete stranger; I feel comfortable around him, like there's a piece of home with me in each class we have. Last night, our class watched a movie, and I sat on the floor; this guy came in late (as would my friend) and lay down; I had an overwhelming urge to give him a hug and to lie there, too, sharing a backpack as a pillow.

Until I saw this guy, I didn't realise how much I miss my friend.